read Campbell on rites of initiation during "taking up call"
Beautifully elaborate myths describing the passages where
heroes face "impending dooms-day scenarios" to put it in
modern terms. They are prepared by dint of life-experience
to move to and fro...between paradoxical realms of those
experiences -life/death, ogres and helpers, right/wrong
My own initiation has recurring nightmare where I'm swallowed
by forces that dissemble my body ("pulling it apart at seams"),
depressive dreams,being overwhelmed, or attacked aggregiously).
These passages are without a breakthrough i.e. coming out other side
read from Campbell on "refusal of the call"
Here's situation again : crises of doom impending
when time comes to choose between getting things done
and /or staying stuck within myself
Its a matter of seeing what is before me and not
fighting - feeling familiar as a replayed neurotic
"drama" and requires a change of venue. i.e. get away
from usual psychic drama; going to Vipassana represents
more than just a place to meditate but a calling to be
taken to drop away accumulated fear and dread and trap.
Taking this trip feels liberating for my mind to
accept or take such a calling - a clear choice to be made!
hero is "called to action"
I experienced that call at JCJC and QCC and with certain individuals but on an everyday basis.
I think that with Carole and Claire I'm feeling that call i.e. to be called into heroic action!
Perhaps to love someone is to do more that what's expected and to reciprocate beyond rational .
heavy slogging...well worth it!